Mothers Day

I woke up to Starbucks (mi favorita) Cinnamon Dolce Latte, on my night stand! And then when I walked out my door my kids tossed home -made heart shaped confetti in the air and said “Happy Mothers Day Mom!!” I had to pinch myself to make sure I was dreaming, it was too adorable.


Adam made my newest breakfast craving: buttermilk pancakes smothered w butter, piled with strawberries and sprinkled with powdered sugar!! So delish!! He also made fresh whipping cream too, just in case I were to change my mind in regards to toppings. I sat down to eat surrounded by home made mothers day cards, they were completely precious.


I had steak and asparagus (with lots of other nummy veggies too) stir fry for lunch. And a classy spaghetti with meat sauce and French bread (again smothered with butter) dinner. I had a slice of the moistest (I know, I know I dislike the word “moist“ too but hey I tell it like it is), Almond-Clementine cake topped with a thick layer of chocolate for dessert. A cake that is most certainly gluten free, a cake especially made by me -twice because I burnt the 1st one- for my sweet momma who has celiac.
In between all the eating, and eating and eating. I did a scavenger hunt that Aidan designed for me. He cut big hearts out of construction paper and hid them through out the house. I had to find them all, he had a blast watching me look everywhere. Let’s just say 8 years olds are very creative. In the end I took the memory of Aidan’s uncontrollable laughter as a prize, you can bet it’ll be treasured. I also spent some time gardening…in peace.
This Mother’s Day all I asked for was to eat good. I’m no good at cooking, plus I just don’t like it, so to have it off my hands for the entire day was the BIGgest blessing!


Now my belly is swollen, and it’s just sad because I look like I’m 3 months pregnant…though I’m so not pregnant I’m just full. But that’s the theme here: full. My life, my belly. It just is, and in so many ways than those which are obvious, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It was a happy mother's day.

Love Notes From Paris

They are a good morning surprise at my bedside, sometimes they are gently folded other times they are tucked neatly into an envelope, they are proudly hung on my fridge or taped up on her closet door, they come with hugs, they come with smiles, they are the most precious thing you’ll ever see…they are love notes from Paris.

I can’t tell whether Paris loves to color and draw, or if she just loves to love people. She spends countless hours every week putting time and effort into coloring pages and drawings, each accompanied with a short sweet love note: “Mommy I love you”, “Dear mommy thank you and I love you”, “Mom I think your pretty and I love you”, “I love you mom”. And it’s no scribble, when you get a love note from Paris you get her very best. When she is working hard at her mini-masterpieces (this is what I call them), she gladly and proudly does so. She colors and draws on purpose, these mini-masterpieces deliver a very important message. She has intention and doesn’t hold back, nothing but her all for those she loves dearly.

Never once have I heard Paris say with words or action, “you only get a love note from me if…” or “I don’t have time for love notes” or “you don’t do anything for me, why should I give you a love note”. Paris is only 5 yet she’s figured out one of the most important things about life….others before self. How? It doesn’t feel at all possible that she’s learned this selfless love from us. I know I’ve said many times with word and/or action “you only get _________ if….” I say this at the store, at dinner, at bedtime, let's face it I say it a lot of the time. I’ve said “not right now”, or “ok well do that later”, or “tomorrow” when I know fully well this mostly means, probably not anytime soon if at all. I’ve said in word and action “you don’t deserve it” which pretty much sums up the phrase “you don’t do anything for me why should I do anything for you”. Man, if tears came naturally to me I’d be balling right now with shame. I wish I could say I’ve only held back on the material things, but truth be told sometimes I hold back my love too. But not Paris. She gives love notes to everyone in our family, whether they’ve been nice or not, she holds no account. She writes love notes for friends too (but how crappy am I that I say “ill make sure so and so gets it” only to completely forget). She always finds time to let us know she loves us, and she doesn’t require that we deserve it.

I’m not the best mom. By that I mean I could do better at setting a more godly example for my children. However I can’t help but feel humbled. If there’s one thing I know about God it’s that He is strongest in our weakness, and Paris belongs to Him not me. I can’t take credit for her good heart. I can’t be praised for her selfless love….Ok my throat is tight, and my eyes are welling up. I’m dysfunctional so I know tears will not be pouring out but my heart is. As I examine the situation I see so much evidence of God, and it’s painfully beautiful. I’m so thankful that right now she is more Chirst-like than she is Mom-like. Paris I am so proud of you!

(working on her birthday cards for this weekend's birthday parties)

Not Yet.

YES! Last week I celebrated being done with a quick visit back to school!

 

It’s a dream of mine to go back to school for a degree in something…Something that will take a whole other post, but feel free to guess until then. I’ve taken classes here and there since high school but this was my first full time term ever. I thought it’d be tough taking sociology, psychology and philosophy, especially having been out of school for the last seven+ years. But it wasn’t!! I had so much fun being challenged, and the subjects I picked were so intriguing. So why not go back? Because I got B’s instead of A’s.

 

I made a deal with myself before this term started. If I went to school, no one (at home) would be able to tell. Well that meant NOT opting out of a mini-vaca during mid-terms and NOT opting out of another mini-vaca the week prior to finals. That meant not studying when necessary and not getting around to doing my best on every single assignment.

 

The commitment I made to myself also meant preventing spill over, which I didn’t do so well. After each mini-vaca I hit the books and left Adam with a pretty hefty to-do list. Being the great husband that he is he didn’t mind so much, but I did. Other than a couple “sill-overs” I was rather impressed with how well I was able to hold up the commitment I made to myself. I love impressing myself! I also managed to pull off B’s (unless the teacher’s grade on a curve in which case I may have A’s), this is great considering I thought I deserved C’s. But that was just my perspective, I knew I didn’t do what I was capable of doing in school. Doing my best to maintain that commitment I made was of utmost priority to me, and I wasn‘t going to sell out for an A.

 

Saying “so long for now” is bitter-sweet. I am so excited for school, but I want to go back when I can be great at it. On the other hand, I love having a family!! This stage in life is amazing: I can completely appreciate the ages of my children, I’ve never been in a better place in my marriage, and I finally feel like I’m finally right where I WANT to be. God is so good, and I feel so blessed. Why am I not living it up? Oh wait I’m about to!

 

Regardless of how “full” my life looks I do have extra time on my hand, not a whole lot but extra nonetheless. So here is the sweet part of the deal: extra time to just do the extra special stuff in life. Here’s my list, the list I’ll look at every time I find myself sad about not going back to school…yet.

• Savoring bed time with my kids.
• Hosting dinner with family friends, more often!
• Hanging on my husbands every word.
• Going above and beyond in home schooling my children, doing all the fun extra stuff that makes school COOL.
• Being better prepared for my kid’s busy sports schedule. No more “hurry, we’re late”.

Yes, it’s bitter-sweet.