My own little piece of heaven.

Heaven. Heaven is often a thought often far from my mind. It’s always been unclear, and quite odd and sometimes confusing to think about. So I got some things cleared up and let me tell you I personally think it’s a great thing to do especially if your in the line of ministry/outreach that serves baby/new Christians, I mean they need to and most likely want to know what they have to look forward to. Three books I’d like to recommend that offer some perspective: “Numbers Of Hope John 3:16” by Max Lucado, “Heaven” by Randy Alcorn, and the oh so wonderful (seriously wonderful) Study Bible!-LOVE my study Bible!

Oh yes, I’d like to add a blog to that reading list. This one I’m about to write might make for a decent read:
Shall we begin with a super brief background? I can’t tell you a time in my life when I didn’t know, seek, and pray to God. I couldn’t tell you when, but it was probably sometime in junior high when I began to fall in love with Jesus…and the rest is history. A deep meaningful history that brings me right here to where I’m at today…in my own little piece of heaven!

I’ve trusted in the Lord long enough to speak testimony to his faithfulness. It was not with out difficulty that I’ve come to this point in my life. I’ve experienced a deep peace, whole hearted contentment, and blessing all at separate times and sometimes even all at once. But this is something more! It’s knowing God a whole lot better today, than I knew him yesterday, and what’s silly is that yesterday, I was pretty darn sure I knew Him very well! What’s it like? It’s mind blowing! I’ve been and will be pondering this feeling for quite some time, there are so many words yet not one seems adequate. All I can share right now is that if it were physical, it would be like standing up with your arms stretched high singing praises louder than ever before from a heart that’s been forever changed, all over again! Does that sound weird to you?….at one point in my life that would have sounded completely out of my league, more in the ball park for those “Charismatic Evangelicals”. But it’s real, and I couldn’t even tell you how this broken girl got to this point.

I feel like I’ve finally arrived at the dinner table and sat down at the right plate. Not too full, certainly not empty. It’s the perfect plate for me, filling me up just enough and no more. For once in my life I think I’m exactly where I want to be, and God delights. I’m finally comfortable with who I am and truly confident of Christ’s work in me! Dearest reader if there is a goodness and abundance that God gives to his faithful ones here on fallen earth, how much more do we have to look forward to in heaven?

And there it is, the conclusion to this blog’s topic thus the point of interest in my life right now! Heaven, it’s real! Jesus can get you there and I’m looking forward to it!

Back to school 2010-2011

The dahlia festival made for quite the drive for us but was well worth it for back to school pictures.



Paris Marie-Kinder



Aidan Michael-2nd Grade



Asher-Pre-School

The Tilgner family is diving into our 1st full year of home schooling. Golly I sure do love my children!
So many people have their opinions on home schooling, good or bad almost everyone whom I tell I am home schooling, longs to at the very least understand why. Almost every one is interested in gaining some insight on the home schooling perspective, and I completely understand. I long to understand the “different” too. Picking a part every reason we decide to home school would make for quite the extensive blog post. But just in case your one of those people with a bad case of the “need to knows” then may this be the appetizer, a small taste of a “main course” blog post to come.

Reasons We Home School:

• A solid commitment to learning about God as a family.
• To discover and learn at our own pace and preference.
• To nurture a loving and respectful relationship with one another.
• To implement strong family values
• To encourage and nurture Godly character.
• To spend more time together as a family.

Milestone

Last night Aidan lost his first tooth! I'm quite certain if Aidan were like every other child, he would have lost this particular tooth by now, it has been loose for quite some time. I'd say it's been about 6/7 months now, but Aidan is a patient boy. I'm sure in that brilliant little mind of his he though out some logical reason that prompted him to wait instead of wiggle.

Last night at tuck in time I checked the progress of his first loose tooth. It was very wiggly, in fact I was sure if he had let me wiggle and tug I would have had his tooth out that night, this scenario wasn't quite as appealing to Aidan as it was to me. I decided it was time to remind Aidan of the "tooth fairy" and his/her purpose...$. At this point, and after being tucked in herself, Paris had joined us in Aidan's room. She was disgusted by Aidan's tooth, but excited to learn about the tooth fairy. Paris asked to sleep over in her big brother's room and after we gave her the okay we tucked the two in and said "good night".

The two were obviously far to anxious to sleep because a little after 10 PM on Tuesday July, 27th 2010 Aidan came tip-toeing out of his bedroom with good news! His tooth had fallen out! He was of course concerned for the safety of his tooth, so we placed the tooth in a baggy and the placed that baggy under his pillow. Aidan was quick to fall asleep certain that the tooth fairy wouldn't come if he wasn't fast asleep. Paris on the other hand desperately wanted to wait the fairy out, she was sure if she could just stay up late enough that she'd catch the beautiful, magical tooth fairy in action. But the tooth fairy knew better than to get caught, she (it was a "she" this time) waited until both children we in a deep sleep, and left $5 for Aidan's first tooth! She also left a special note saying: "Dear Aidan, Please brush your teeth 3 times a day, thank you for the clean tooth-Tooth Fairy" It was a simple message made of simple somewhat scribbly hand writing... Aidan thought that perhaps it was a kid fairy, Paris thought perhaps the handwriting was scribbly because the pen was far too big for a little fairy hand....hmmm, I'm impressed that they both actually thought about it.

I love that the two got to share this experience together. It means so much to me as a mom when I see a healthy loving relationship developing between my children.

Here's a little fun for ya :D Aidan and I lost the same tooth first! How cool is that, except I lost mine a year earlier than he lost his! Here is a picture of me at 6 1/2 and Aidan at 7 1/2.

Bedtime Stories

Today was a hard day. I stayed up way too late reading "Breaking Dawn" I got half way through it skipping over most of the "Jacob" book/chapters. Yes, I am a brat skipping over all the details and getting right to the good stuff....like half humna, half vampire babies! The last time I looked at the clock last night it was 2 am. Adam was sleeping, I closed my book, turned out the light then playfully tickled him until he peeled his eyes half open, acknowledged my presence and held me close. Bedtime rebellion does not go with out consequence. I woke up cheerful this morning but then the head ache came. I was completely irritable.

My kids are champs. I was crabby, snappy and even hurtful today yet my kids still love me, with the same unconditional love I have for them. Ah, I have taught them well. Tonight after a long awaiting this day to be over I tucked my kids in bed. Normally I fly through this part of the day. Hoping I'll have enough time before my bedtime to finish up my to-do's and enjoy a little time to myself. Today had been a different day and so tonight, I took my time. I honestly have been trying to take my time lately, but I find myself far to selfish to ever do so. I'm a selfish being it's true, like last night when I decided to stay up way past my bedtime with out consideration to my children, so selfish of me.

Asher was exhausted as he usually is at bedtime. I crawled into his tiny-for-mom toddler bed and curled myself around him so that he sank into my chest. I held him firmly and then said "Asher look at me in my eyes please" he did. Then I said "I'm so sorry Asher, I love you so so much" referring to the fact that I had been a crab today. He said "I love you momma, I'm sorry I bite my sister". Asher was still Asher today, but I was a lot less graceful with him. We laid and watched the goldfish swim aimlessly in the tank that filled his room with dim light. I watched as peace fall upon his face, and soon after I found myself lost in the rhythm of his breathing. His face is beautiful, so fresh, and full, and kissable, I could have laid beside him staring all night.

I heard Paris' restless body wrestling in her bed. She shares a room with Asher and thankfully as I had hoped, Asher fell asleep quickly enough allowing me time with Paris before she had fallen asleep. I crawled on over to her bedside, tucked her sheets around her and snuggled my head next to her. She had preferred me to lay in bed with her, but had I done such a thing in a bed more comfortable than Asher's I would have passed right out, and still I had hoped to make it to Aidan's room for tuck in time tonight. So she being in a grateful mood, settled for my kneeling at her bedside. I held her hand as she closed her eyes and concentrated on falling asleep. Aw, she is a sweet one. I whispered sweet thoughts into her ear, sharing with her how thankful I am to God for giving me the best little girl in the world, how I adore her, how I'm proud of who she is, and how I love her so much more than she could ever know. I don't consider myself remarkable but the power I have to bring such a peace to my children amazes me. It's a gift that only I can give, it's a comfort I regret not giving them more of. I caught myself staring again, this time I watched Paris' little hand in mine. Fragile, gentle, precious. I thought about the little, someday big hand for a while, and it was poetic. When I saw that Paris didn't flinch when Adam came to check on us I moved on to Aidan's room.

Of course Aidan wasn't sleeping. He was tired though, I could see it in his eyes. When I walked in he had been tucking in his stuffy's. Before I could say anything he asked if I could stay with him a while, so that he had a better try at falling asleep. Absolutely! I snuggled up in bed with Aidan, I rubbed his prickly shaved head, and as I laid on my side I wrapped one arm around his little chest, then we prayed. Well I prayed over him. I had done this earlier with the other two before Asher fell asleep. I prayed a similar, unique to him prayer. Then he turned to his side and I rubbed his back. I knew I wouldn't be able to lay with him until he fell asleep, that would take 40-60 minutes. Time I had chose not spare, surely I'd fall asleep if I stayed snuggled in his bed for that long. I stayed as long as I could though. When he tossed back over to his back I got to watch his face, again I saw that same peace. It signifies the feeling of being protected, safe, watched over and loved. I couldn't believe how big he is. It made me sad to reflect on how fast time has passed. It sadly does feel long ago that I had laid beside him as a newborn. I hate remembering how old he is and how were that much closer to "the turning point". That stupid point in time when he'll decide he doesn't need me by his bedside, or for much else either. I dread it and pray with might it's not real. I held him a little tighter, said "I love you" and when I thought he was comfortable enough to fall asleep in peace, I escaped before I began to wallow in self pity.

Someday this life will be over and I'll begin a new stage. It is what it is, just like today was crap but then heavenly. Thank God for bedtime stories.

Brother and a half.

Most people don't know that I have two brothers. Both go by the name Samuel. One is my whole brother, the other is my half.

I grew up with my whole brother Sam. I've known him since the day he was born. He is 20 now. When my Dad passed he left behind his girlfriend Diana who was about 5 months pregnant with my half brother. Who she named Rudolfo Samuel De Leon, who is now 13 and goes by Sammy.

I did not grow up with my half brother. I do however try my best to keep in touch with him. After all my sister, my brother and I are the closest thing to our Dad that he will ever know. We're pieces of my Father, we're not only his flesh and blood but we knew him. He held us, we know his voice, we know his smile, he left an impression on us.

If life makes up the pieces to who we are as a puzzle. My sister, brother and I are pieces of my Dad. Pieces my half brother Sammy could use to make up a part of his life's puzzle.

He really appreciates getting to know any part of our Dad's family. I love getting to know him. I hope I'm always able to be a part of his life. It was really good to see him after so long, and re-learn once again that he is a really cool kid.

From Left to Right: Me, Sammy my Half Brother, Sam JR.

Superbly Celebrated

Back in the day you were considered majorly blessed if you had yourself some sons. Seriously? Did they not know that girls rock too! I'm so thankful for my baby girl. Blessed am I to have Paris Marie.

Today Paris had herself a birthday party! This year's theme was a mix of different things Paris likes, the top three being: Princesses, Ballet and GOD!! She begged for a sleep over but she's only gonna be 5 and we leave for Cali in the morning, so she settled for a pajama party! I spent extra time on details. I love details and now that Paris can actually enjoy and appreciate them, I took the time to put a little extra effort into decorating and such.

We had a candle lit dinner: spaghetti and salad with a homemade birthday cake for dessert.

After we met in the living room at the "Story Time Station" for a reading of "Gigi God's Little Princess: The Purple Ponies". This was a book about how God created each of us uniquely with different yet special gifts. SO very perfect for 5 year old little girls.

We opened presents, made ourselves some friendship bracelets then headed to the front porch "Beauty Salon" for some manicures.

When we finished up our manicures, the girls got to go star catching for their party favors, they each took home three unique, sparkly beautiful stars to take home and hang over their bed.

Finally for those who got to stay out late we watched "Barbie's 12 Dancing Princesses" I'm not super fond of Barbie movies but this one incorporated 2 of Paris' favorite things and went long without theme, AND it was actually pretty good.

The party was great, it flowed well we did everything we had planned and the girls all did awesome!! Paris had a blast, it was memorable for her and she says she loved it!That's all the matters to me.

She is sunshine and completely wonderful to me she deserves to be superbly celebrated!

Pieces of Mother's Day 2010

Gifting: For about the last 5 years Aunt Mora has hosted a brunch or dinner for Mother's Day and for the last 5 years I've made it a tradition to give the Tilgner Aunt's a little somethin' somethin' for Mother's Day. Just our little way of sayin' thanks for being a part of our lives and doing that mom-like job of being an Aunt. This year we potted a variety of annuals each represent the uniqueness of each woman in the family.

My Prize. On Saturday I was on the hunt for some good deals so we took a little trip to Fred Meyer. Shortly after we got there we heard an announcement that a "Plant Walk" was starting in ten minutes for kids 10 and under. Aidan was thrilled! He was curious as to what this was (cause he has never been a such a walk before), and even more intrigued when I mentioned there would likely be a prize for the winner! So I said what the heck. We walked on over to the plant walk...and AIDAN won! He was so excited as was I when he happily handed it over to me as my Mother's Day gift. I was thinking he'd want to give it to a grandma but nope with out hesitation he handed it right over to me and said "Happy mother's Day Mom". It was really quite perfect because that day he had been mumbling about how he had no money to buy me anything and how even if he did he wasn't sure how he could make it a surprise. I thought his concern was so precious, a sweet gift itself and I let him know that. Regardless God knows the heart and I can't help but feel God intervened on

 Aidan's behalf :D

Deepwood Estate: This Mother's Day I thought it would be nice to take some pictures of the kids and I. Well the pictures didn't exactly go the way I wanted them to. A group shot with all three is still out of the question at this point and stage in their life. We tried...and let's just say the pictures will be scrapbooked. We did however get a few good ones of me with the girls, the boys and my man.

Mom's Home: My mom's moved a few times in the last couple years but no matter where she goes it'll always be home. She holds my memories from birth-now and home will always be wherever she is at. I totally spaced snapping a pic with her this year :( or any pictures of our time over there for that matter. Regardless it was great. I gave her her gifts and she gave me mine. Isn't sweet that my mom buys ME a gift on Mother's Day! I can always count on chocolate covered strawberries from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory from her on Mother's Day. I get one for each kid I have! Cute huh?! This year she also got me this adorable necklace (I'm wearing it in a the pic up top there).

The Tilgner Farm in Kings Valley: Adam and I know this is a Mother's Day event we will never miss because it's guaranteed delicious food. Food that is way out of my league. Okay we don't only go for the food the family is good too. Not everyone has the delight of being near a grandparent but we do! Plus the farm is awesome. It's like were the only people that exist when we're out there. Aidan was way into Mother's Day this year and asked to take me on a nature walk. The farm has plenty of tall trees and a couple trails too. He wanted to show off his expertise. It was adorable. Well worth the time and energy. Completely priceless.

The Oregon Coast: Usually Mother's Day is a difficult time for me to receive gifts from the family. I always feeling guilty considering it's right after income tax returns and I've usually shopped pretty well for myself by this holiday. But none the less I am a momma which entitles me to something. So this year I asked to watch the sunset at the Oregon Coast. It was a BEautiful warm sunny day until, of course, we headed in the direction of the coast only to see that the sunset would be shadowed out. The sky was full of clouds! Still it was a memorable time and the Oregon Coast is spectacular-Always.